This Lesson Hurts

Let’s be honest… I didn’t want to write this post. As I write I am still battling with myself on what to say. Usually I am so excited to write about what we are doing and the adventure the Lord is leading us on and the lessons He is teaching us.  But these last two months have been more lessons than adventures and lets just say I miss the adventures. It is easy to share an adventure with you, it is much harder to admit the lessons the Lord has had to teach me… again.

Patience. My lesson. I am so ready to be over this lesson of Patience… Ironic? When I lived in Africa after high school, one of my leaders told me “Don’t pray for patience. If you do, God will only test your patience until you learn to have patience.” I often catch myself saying “God, I didn’t pray for patience!” and thus my lesson continues.

Patience in ministry . There are so many exciting things to get done, but we have to wait for the Lord’s timing not ours. Example: We are so excited to start construction on the Recording Studio!... in July. Which is much sooner then we anticipated, so I should be praising not moaning.

Patience in marriage. This is a lesson that will never end, and I don’t want it to end. Loving my husband through all his faults is hard, but I can’t imagine loving me through all of mine. I am thankful for his not-always-patient patience with me as I am learning to be patient with him.

Patience in motherhood, wanting to be a mother. Wow, this is it. This is the reason I didn't want to write this post. Not only am I learning patience here, I am also having to be reminded that God’s timing and plan is perfect. And only His timing and plan is perfect, not mine. No matter how much I wish or pray or moan or cry. Still I will choose to trust in Him. The patience is there, in trusting Him.

So Lord,

Tonight I pray for patience.

Because I know that You will be with me through all the testing of my patience.

And I don't want to face my impatience without You.

I am ready for Your lessons.

Why Do Missionaries Cost So Much!

In high school, when a teenager is trying to figure out their life, who they are and what they want to be, I said I did not want to be a missionary. I wanted to teach internationally or work for an embassy because I new I wanted to live overseas, but I did NOT want to raise my money, I wanted to be paid.

How selfish and untrusting of me. By saying this I was not willing to let God control my life, I wanted to be in charge! But God has a funny way of changing our hearts and showing us the joys of relying on Him. I could have married a mid- west lawyer and live in suburbia with a white picket fence, maybe a horse or two. I could have studied International Relations and gone on to work for an Embassy. But I didn't. Because God said no.

God took my fear of raising money and showed me that He is bigger then fear and He is bigger then money and it all belongs to Him anyway, so why was I living in fear?

I wish it didn't cost so much for Alpha and I to be missionaries. I wish I did not have to ask people directly to support us. I wish my update letters and Facebook posts did not have to track our progress or ask for more supports. It is humbling, sometimes humiliating. But God does not want us to do it on our own. Ephesians 2:8-9 says "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."

It is a gift from God that we get raise support, so that those who cannot go can still be a partner with us in reaching others for Christ. It is a gift from God that we can rely on Him and not our own strength, because we would never be able to do it on our own.

If you are interested in reading an article that answers questions "why missionaries cost so much" or why we ask for so many supporters please read it here: http://reachingandteaching.org/2016/02/missionaries-cost-much.html

Preparing our Hearts

As Alpha and I are preparing to go back the Bangladesh, our organization sent us a link to "things missionaries would have liked to know before heading to the field". I wanted to share some of the list with you. I am by no means a veteran missionary. I have limited experience, but am passionate about sharing my small experience in order to help others avoid some mistakes I have made.

"I wish I had known how difficult missions really is." This one is so hard to explain, there are so many things that go into being in a different country, learning a new culture, language, transportation system, how the government works and how to go grocery shopping. It is hard to explain to people that have never been out of their country, but the daily things you do, that you don;t even think about in your home country, become daunting tasks that take all your energy and will power.

"I wish I had had more realistic expectations." It is not all "summer camp", things do not run smoothly, things go wrong, over and over and over again. Sharing Christ means having a relationship and relationships take time. Years, not days and not months, but years of work before you may see fruit, and in the end that "fruit" may only be a planted seed. 

"I wish I had known more about myself and being patient." I am not a person that likes to sit and do nothing, but in reality starting a mission is a lot of waiting.... and waiting.... and some more waiting.... Learning the language takes time and can be lonely, but it is not forever. You will learn and you will be able to make friends. Having a plan, but being flexible is so important. Being able to just do life while you are waiting is important. Make friends is important. But trusting the Lord and knowing that His timing is perfect is the most important.

"I wish I had known that we would be nearly forgotten by those who had been closest to us." When I read this one my heart hurt, because unfortunately it is true. Living overseas means you lose deep friendships with people back home. It means you have to make extra effort to reach out and keep relationships going. Having relationships with people back home is not all about raising money and being fully supported. It is about having people you know will be here for you even when they are thousands of miles away. That is the reason we need supports, not for the money but for the support, love, prayers and friendships. When a missionary invites you to visit their country, they really mean it. They want your friendship and they want to share with you the worlds they live in. If you get the chance to love on a missionary it means everything to them.

"I wish I’d known how amazing it was going to be!"
Missionaries give up their entire lives, friends and family to serve the Lord. It is not easy, it breaks hearts, wears people down, culture shock, home sickness and depression are realities, but through all of that the rewards of serving the Lord with your entire being are unimaginable and indescribable. Because if you can make it through the language and culture learning you will discover the abundance of people thirsting for Jesus and sharing His love brings a joy that you cannot compare.

Thank you for praying with Alpha and I as we are facing these struggles, but knowing that the reward will be worth more then anything we can imagine.

I did not write about all the questions so you can read the entire article here: http://www.askamissionary.com/question/31

Are You Ready? We Are Ready!

Here we go! Alpha and I are launching our new ministry! We have joined Global Grace Fellowship and are starting our journey back to Bangladesh. Below is our new website! Get excited! We are excited!  Click on the "News" tab to hear two of Alpha's new songs. Support information is under Donate and Alpha and I would be happy to come speak at your church or small group. Send me an email emillermk@gmail.com. 

Alpha Studio Bangladesh

The Waiting Place

There are so many emotions going on in m heart today. I was reading an article about the Rohingya refugee crisis in Bangladesh, saw a short clip on Facebook about the lack of value daughters have in India and about how a man walked into a Denver Walmart and killed three people only a couple blocks from my brother's house. With all the turmoil in the world it can be hard to find the joy and thank God for his blessings. But even in, especially in, the dark times God is there and His plan is perfect.

This is not the first time I have asked God "why are we here and not there?" But I can see God moving here in little Wescliffe. It may not be at the speed that Alpha or I want, but His timing is perfect and He still loves us in our doubts and questions.

When I was in middle and high school I would beg my parents to return to the missions field, I did not and still today struggle with feeling "American." It might be what my passport says, it is the accent I have, but it is hard to feel "at home" in a culture that is supposed to make sense but doesn't. I have learned over the last year that "home" for me is not a specific country, but where my family is and where God is using me. Back in those school days my mom once told me "Let God use you where you are, then He will send you where you want to go."

So we stay, waiting, but being used. How unfortunate would it be to stay in one place, whether you like it or not, but never shine the light of Christ? How can I expect God to send me to do His work, if I do not let Him use me here? I long to be back in Bangladesh doing what my heart's passion is, but I have also found joy in being used in Westcliffe. I love being a part of our church, as does Alpha. Alpha is an active part of our worship team and I am able to help in the nursery. I love being able to teach an art class once a week to about 15 kids in a home school co-op and I love seeing our interns at work be challenged and grow in their love for the Lord.

And though we do not know exactly why God has brought us here, we are excited to have found a church that is as passionate about sending us back to Bangladesh as we are to go. And so we take another step in the journey of honoring our Savior with our lives. Waiting, yes, but seeking the Lord as we look ahead to a life of ministry in Bangladesh. We are ready and the Lord is moving. I will be writing another post soon with more details about our plans to return to Bangladesh and the specific ministry the Lord has been building and leading us to start.

We appreciate your prayers, love and support. 

Alpha and Emily Samaddar

Settled, Serving and Learning

We are Settled!

We made it to the beautiful Sangre De Cristo mountain range in southern Colorado over a month ago. I cannot believe how fast time flies. We have turned this wild and majestic land into our home. We have settled into our apartment and the routine of Alpha attending classes and me going to work. Even Ember has decided country living is for him. Most of our furniture is still borrowed, but living in a camp setting with high turnover has some advantages and we have been blessed with a few of our larger pieces, like our (new to us) couch! It has been such a joy to make new friends and living in this Christ centered community. We have also been blessed to have my brother Nathan come visit twice and bring my Grammy up once.

Ember has made with friend in puppy LeLe

Ember is loving living in the mountains

Grammy and Nathan came to visit us!

We are Serving!

Starting camp in the summer is a lot of hard work, long days and exhausted bodies. The kitchen staff I have the privileged to manage and work with are some of the hardest working, most humble young adults I have ever met. The serve selflessly, sometimes over 12 hours a day and always with a smile. The ministry of working in a camp setting is most definitely a calling. I feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to work and learn from some pros and I know God is using this experience to shape me and Alpha for ministry in Bangladesh.  Alpha is volunteering at the seminary, cleaning the classroom and main lodge to help cover his tuition. He has been working so hard to maintain his studies and work.

On Wednesdays we have a Western night for our guests

We are Learning!

Alpha has amazed me with his ability to learn and understand his classes. It has been a challenge and lots of extra hours to get through the readings, looking up words with a translator, discussing ideas and theological ideas with classmates, memorizing verses and topics. Fewf! I am out of breathe thinking about it all! Alpha often feels like he is not learning anything in lectures because he has to focus on translating, but even with all of these challenges he has surpassed his fellow students on tests and exams! I have seen and heard Alpha talk about his classes with passion and I know he is learning far more then he realizes. Please pray that Alpha feels that he is learning and that he does not get overwhelmed with the language barrier.
I have also been learning. I just finished a SafeServ Manager course and will hopefully receive my test results and certification next week. I am learning what it means to be a manager (assistant) and how to help resolve conflict as well as what it means to serve selflessly. Its not always easy, let me tell you!

One of the Kitchen's dishwasher was down so we loaded up a van with our dirty dishes and had a washing party at one of the other kitchens.

Our beautiful mountains, the pointy one in Horn Peek where we live

As Alpha and I have been working hard to cover tuition, housing and moving expenses, the Seminary has asked that we pray about and try to raise our tuition for the three year program as the goal of the Seminary is to prepare its students for full time ministry. We will be starting to pray about and ask for long term supporters. We would love if you would join our team as we work through Seminary and begin to look toward the future of being back on the missions field in Bangladesh full time. Over the next three years we will need to raise around $9,000 in tuition alone with more info to come on monthly ministry support and start up costs for when we move back to Bangladesh.

If you are interested in becoming a monthly supporter or would like more information please feel free to email me emillermk@gmail.com and I will be happy to send you more information.

If you feel God leading you to help Alpha with his masters, and ultimately back to Bangladesh, and would like to make a tax-deductible donation on his behalf please see the information below. We would love to have you join us on this journey.

Please make checks payable to: Sangre De Cristo Seminary

Sangre De Cristo Seminary
6160 County Rd #130
Westcliffe, Colorado
81252

Please include a note saying: 'On behalf of the tuition for Alpha Samaddar'

If you would like to donate online through PayPal please follow the link below. Again, please include a note: 'On behalf of the tuition for Alpha Samaddar'

Online Donation

If you would like to check out the school's website:
Sangre De Cristo Seminary

Enjoying a rare moment of quiet together

We are Moving!

For those of you who have known me for many years, know that my life is hardly ever stationary. So we have come upon another such time. Alpha's dream of attending Seminary is coming true and we are moving to COLORADO!

I have been very blessed to work for World Relief Chicago these last few months as a Refugee Case Manager. It has been intense and rewarding. I have learned many things about myself, politics and some of the most needy and vulnerable around the world. Unfortunately Alpha has not been able to find work in Chicago, partially due to some health issues, but we are seeing more and more how this has been a part of God's plan all along.

When we were first moving to the United States, Alpha expressed his desire to attend Seminary to get his Masters so we could return to Bangladesh fully prepared to do ministry. We looked and applied to a number of schools, but none seemed to fit Alpha's needs. Until recently.

My little brother Jared and I worked at a Christian Camp and Conference Center a number of years ago in the mountains of Colorado. While I was there I stumbled upon a tiny Seminary called the Sangre De Cristo Seminary. One of our co-workers was attending there to get his Masters of Divinity, which is one of two degrees offered.

Sangre De Cristo Seminary came to my mind last year when Alpha and I were looking at schools, because they are small, only 12 students, they could offer one on one teaching that Alpha will need as he studies in a second language. But because they are so small they could not offer him a student visa (as we did not have his green card at the time). So we put it out of our minds. However, last month it came back up, and with Alpha's green card he was able to apply. By the grace of God, there was one full-time spot available and Alpha was accepted.


Now we are looking forward to moving to Westcliffe, Colorado so he can start classes on May 29th. We are stepping out in bold faith, as I do not have a job yet in Colorado. I have an interview this week, so your prayers will be appreciated. We know this is the way God is leading and He has never asked us to do something He wasn't prepared to cover.

The Seminary is non-profit so the tuition is only about $3,000 a semester. Because the Seminary's focus is to prepare pastors for full-time ministry they also allow their students to raise the tuition. Alpha and I would love to be able to jump from school straight onto the missions field back in Bangladesh. If you feel God leading you to help Alpha with his masters, and ultimately back to Bangladesh, and would like to make a tax-deductible donation on his behalf please see the information below. We would love to have you join us on this journey.

Please make checks payable to: Sangre De Cristo Seminary

Sangre De Cristo Seminary
6160 County Rd #130
Westcliffe, Colorado
81252

Please include a note saying: 'On behalf of the tuition for Alpha Samaddar'

If you would like to donate online through PayPal please follow the link below. Again, please include a note: 'On behalf of the tuition for Alpha Samaddar'

Online Donation

If you would like to check out the school's website:
Sangre De Cristo Seminary