This Lesson Hurts

Let’s be honest… I didn’t want to write this post. As I write I am still battling with myself on what to say. Usually I am so excited to write about what we are doing and the adventure the Lord is leading us on and the lessons He is teaching us.  But these last two months have been more lessons than adventures and lets just say I miss the adventures. It is easy to share an adventure with you, it is much harder to admit the lessons the Lord has had to teach me… again.

Patience. My lesson. I am so ready to be over this lesson of Patience… Ironic? When I lived in Africa after high school, one of my leaders told me “Don’t pray for patience. If you do, God will only test your patience until you learn to have patience.” I often catch myself saying “God, I didn’t pray for patience!” and thus my lesson continues.

Patience in ministry . There are so many exciting things to get done, but we have to wait for the Lord’s timing not ours. Example: We are so excited to start construction on the Recording Studio!... in July. Which is much sooner then we anticipated, so I should be praising not moaning.

Patience in marriage. This is a lesson that will never end, and I don’t want it to end. Loving my husband through all his faults is hard, but I can’t imagine loving me through all of mine. I am thankful for his not-always-patient patience with me as I am learning to be patient with him.

Patience in motherhood, wanting to be a mother. Wow, this is it. This is the reason I didn't want to write this post. Not only am I learning patience here, I am also having to be reminded that God’s timing and plan is perfect. And only His timing and plan is perfect, not mine. No matter how much I wish or pray or moan or cry. Still I will choose to trust in Him. The patience is there, in trusting Him.

So Lord,

Tonight I pray for patience.

Because I know that You will be with me through all the testing of my patience.

And I don't want to face my impatience without You.

I am ready for Your lessons.