Give a Man a Fish (Random Stories From the Last Few Months)

Give a man a fish, feeds him for a day.

Teach a man to fish, feeds him for a lifetime. 

-Anne Isabella Ritchie

The above quote has been running through my head recently. I often want to take things over, do them myself, save others the pain or work. But this is not helpful for them. And as I am living in this vastly different culture from my own, it is not helpful for people to do this for me either. 

One thing I love about Bangladesh is that I am always learning new things. Whether it is cooking, language learning, cultural events or attending weddings. I have learned to take off my western tinted glasses to see this world around me. Some things I love and somethings I disagree with. I have spent a lot of time discussing with my friends here what is biblical and what is cultural. I am happy to conform to cultural rules as long as they do not interfere with my Biblical worldview. This has been an interesting challenge and lesson we have presented to our youth group kids. My new favorite question to ask them, when I see something cultural that may not be biblical, is to ask "Why do you do that?" and then "What does the Bible say about that?"

It would be very easy to just correct my kids, to "give them a fish" but I want them to become Fishers of Men (Matthew 4:19), so we continue to teach them to fish, to fish for answers and question the world with Jesus tinted glasses. 

My youth group girls dressed in traditional Giholude Sarees

I recently attended a wedding. At the prewedding ceremony, called a Giholude, tumeric is spread on the bride and groom's skin as a blessing and gives their skin a nice glow on their wedding day. (It turns my very pale skin bright yellow). This particular Christian wedding was an arranged marriage. Something I still cannot quite wrap my mind around, but am learning how normal it is here. I talked with my kids and all of them said they would not mind an arranged marriage. Of course, they are all welcome to have a love marriage, but most expect to have an arranged marriages. 

As you can expect this has led to many interesting conversations. And since arranged marriages are very present in the Bible, Alpha and I do not dissuade or discourage this. What we do encourage and teach our kids is to love and honor their spouse, however and whenever they get married. Alpha and I try our best to show appropriate affection to each other in public as an example of what a Biblical, loving marriage looks like. 

Shredding Coconut by had for Bangla curry

I am also learning to 'fish'.... I have written in previous blogs how hard I find it to cook here. But in the last few months I have become more proficient with the help of my mother-in-law. We make everything from scratch here. And though I do not enjoy spending hours in the kitchen, I do feel accomplished when I can put a meal on the table for my family.

Making baskets in art class

Swimming in the pond

As we are teaching our youth group to "fish", I have also been blessed with the opportunity to teach English at a local school to 20 precious, rambunctious little boys. And what started out as English has turned into teaching Art, Swimming and occasionally Science. Needless to say my Bangla is improving very quickly when trying to maintain control in a classroom of 20 boys under the age of 10. 

I had been dying for a swim all summer as it had been consistency over 100 degrees here. So when asked if I wanted to teach swimming I readily agreed. I don't always think before I agree to things... In this case our swimming lessons would be held in the local fishing pond. And yes the water was just as murky, green and smelly as you can see in the picture above. Absolutely no problem for my boys. They swim here a few times a week. I had grand plans for teaching them the breaststroke and diving techniques. But after being handed a fourth dead fish, I was really over it. So I retired to the shore as lifeguard more then teacher. And these boys didn't need a swimming lesson, they are practically fish themselves. Probably wont do that again anytime soon, though I get asked about swimming every week. Sorry Bangladesh, my western side won this round. 

Our new logo 

Our youth group in the new t-shirts

On the other side of ministry Alpha and I had the opportunity to cast our net at a youth event with over 400 students. We attended this event with our youth group and were able to have a table to promote our ministry. We gave out t-shirts and played our new worship music. The positive response we got was overwhelming. The youth at the event were so excited for new worship music. We feel very blessed to have had this opportunity and our youth group really stepped up to help us promote this amazing music ministry. 

Our table at the youth conference

I hope you enjoyed a these random stories from the last few months. Life here is never dull and God is teaching me as much as He is using me to teach other. 

I Have Fallen in Love

Sorov's beautiful smile

We have now been back in Bangladesh for 10 months. There have been many ups and downs, joys and sadness, but above all the Lord has been faithful.

When we were packing up our suitcases, I had grand ideas and plans for what we were going to do here. I could not wait to get back to Bangladesh. I thought I knew what to expect and that life would be dandy. I mean, I had lived in Dhaka for 2 years, how different could Khulna really be?

My sweet Protisha

The thing about Dhaka, well the part of Dhaka that used to I live in, is that it is a little oasis from the reality of the rest of Bangladesh. I lived in the Diplomatic Zone, where you had a western grocery store, coffee shops, even Pizza Hut, KFC and A&W. There is a clothing store that carries my size and foreigners get a 10% discount! All of these things I took for granted because I thought it was normal. Khulna, on the other hand, was where I would go on vacation to see my in-laws. Alpha and I always had a wonderful few days, or even a couple weeks being away from the hustle and bustle of overcrowded Dhaka. What I didn't realize was how different Khulna was, or should I say how unrealistic the Diplomatic Zone set my expectations.

Sorov talks to me a mile a minute!

In Khulna, though it is a city, they have no coffee. I mean real coffee, not Nescafe instant coffee (that is everywhere). Our little western style grocery store is a blessing and I would not know how to survive without it, but they do not carry boneless meat or chicken, cold dairy products like cheese and it is always a surprise what you will find on the shelves, and how much you will have to pay for things.

But with the reality that Khulna is not Dhaka settling in, I had to get creative and step outside my comfort zone. I learned how to make cheese and pasta at home. I got past my anxiety of going to the market to pick out a live chicken, watch it be killed and then take it home and figure out how to de-bone it so I could make some American food. Practical skills that I was not taught in school. I planted a garden so I could make a salad, which if you ask my mom is a big deal because I hated working in the garden growing up. And all this while being immersed in language learning.

Anik and Shuvo (he is at boarding school in Dhaka)

My husband gets asked often if I speak Bangla. His typical response has been "She speaks a little (alpo)." Until recently I have been upgraded to "She speaks more or less well (mota-moti)" or he will even say "Why don't you ask her?" Shock and Aww! My husband sees me improving!

Alpha, Oli, Samir, Anik, Joy

I have to credit this improvement to "my kids". The kids, teens and young adults that live on our compound, attend youth group and play board games with me. They don't speak English and at first, we had a lot of awkward silences, confusion, and miscommunication. But they leaned into that discomfort, pushing me to try harder and that's when it happened. That is when I started to fall in love with Khulna. More specifically with each of the kids that didn't care if my grammar was terrible or if I didn't know what on earth they were saying. But they still wanted to be my friend. They wanted to spend time with me. I get greeted with hugs when they get home from school and I get yelled at as I walk down the street past their homes "Boudi! Boudi!" (My title here).

Madohri, Sorov, Protisha, and Synthia

Alpha and I came here to do music ministry, to run a recording studio, but God had different, bigger plans. Yes, we are still doing the Studio, we are still working with youth to write worship music, but we have also become youth leaders/pastors. We have been gifted with young lives that have become so precious to us, to me. I could not imagine how my life would be without them here. During Christmas break, when all the kids were home, was the sweetest time I have had in Bangladesh. I mourned when they had to go back to school, some to boarding school far away, and I have had to readjust my expectations of not seeing them every day and having game nights every night. I now savor the small moments I get with them. Whether it is watching Sorov fly his kite and play with Ember (my dog), sitting with Madohri and Protisha in the sunshine, texting with Joy and Gilbert.

I have absolutely fallen in love with each of them. These special, precious lives that God created. The early days here I spent a lot of time and energy trying to find other foreigners here, hiding in my house or planning trips to visit my friends in Dhaka. But now, my joy comes when I am with my kids. We still struggle to communicate, but they are helping me, not letting me get away with my terrible grammar. And as they teach me Bangla, I teach them a few English words, and between the group of us, we can understand each other. I would not trade this time, even when it is hard, for anything in the world!

Proma, Brishti and Srishti

The boys after a Pre-Christmas race

Shuvo, Joy, Anik, Oli, and Samir

After our Pre-Christmas Program

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Abraham's Blessing and Bangladeshi Tea

Having Tea on the Train

I was having devotions with my mom, via Skype, and as we read I realized something that made the Bible come to life like never before. And it only came to life this way through the cultural lens of my life here in Bangladesh. So I thought I would share it with you, so that you may also experience the Bible, the Story of Abraham, and the culture of Bangladesh in a new way.

Please turn with me to Genesis 17 and 18. (ESV is quoted below.)

Starting in Gen. 17: 15

15 And God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name. 16 I will bless her, and moreover, I will give you a son by her. I will bless her, and she shall become nations; kings of peoples shall come from her.” 17 Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed and said to himself, “Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? Shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” 18 And Abraham said to God, “Oh that Ishmael might live before you!” 19 God said, “No, but Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his offspring after him. 20 As for Ishmael, I have heard you; behold, I have blessed him and will make him fruitful and multiply him greatly. He shall father twelve princes, and I will make him into a great nation. 21 But I will establish my covenant with Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear to you at this time next year.”

Bangladesh's famous 7 Layer Tea

This is the amazing start to the promise, the covenant God made with Abraham. There are many commentaries, articles, and speakers who have talked about how Abraham laughed and the miracle about Sarah’s age to give birth to a child. But I want to jump to something not often looked at. Verse 20, I underlined “As for Ishmael, I have heard you.” Just a few verses before Abraham pleaded with God to allow Ishmael to be the one through whom God would make a great nation (Isaac was not yet born), and God said ‘no’, but even though He said ‘no’, He also ‘heard’ Abraham’s plea and blessed Ishmael. As Christians, we are blessed through the promise passed through Isaac, but the descendants of Ishmael were also blessed, in a different way, in wealth and numbers, and you would know them as Muslims. Islam came from the line of Ishmael, in the Qur’an it talks about Ishmael being the blessed son on Abraham and then follows his line of decedents, where Christians follow the blessed line of Isaac. This is some important background information for you, but not the main point of what I discovered today.

Let us continue in chapter 18:

1 And the Lord appeared to him by the oaks of Mamre, as he sat at the door of his tent in the heat of the day. 2 He lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, three men were standing in front of him. When he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them and bowed himself to the earth 3 and said, “O Lord, if I have found favor in your sight, do not pass by your servant. 4 Let a little water be brought, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree, 5 while I bring a morsel of bread, that you may refresh yourselves, and after that you may pass on—since you have come to your servant.” So they said, “Do as you have said.” 6 And Abraham went quickly into the tent to Sarah and said, “Quick! Three seahs of fine flour! Knead it, and make cakes.” 7 And Abraham ran to the herd and took a calf, tender and good, and gave it to a young man, who prepared it quickly. 8 Then he took curds and milk and the calf that he had prepared, and set it before them. And he stood by them under the tree while they ate.

Wow! I might as well have underlined the entire section. I know you are thinking, “What Emily? Abraham had some guests over and fed them.” First of all, it was the LORD! and as for the rest, I will break it down for you.

Tea Stall

It is hot in Bangladesh. I mean really HOT. Averaging 95 to 105 degrees Fahrenheit at midday.  So as Abraham ‘sat at the door of his tent in the heat of the day’ there was not much else to do during this time. I understand this. When it is that hot all you can do really is sit in the shade, usually napping or resting. From my window, I can see the women of our compound sitting in the shade at high noon doing each others hair, or laying in their houses under the fan. Men might be sitting in tea stalls having a cup, chatting, but definitely not moving much. It is too hot!

Tea Stall

In this heat-induced sleepiness Abraham looked up and “When he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them and bowed himself to the earth.” Now we don’t do much running at high heat here, but remember Abraham was a nomad, if someone was at his tent they were coming to see him. In Bangladesh, when we are out walking, in town or in the villages, people are always stopping and inviting us in. If someone comes to our compound they are invited in. And if it is someone you respect (an elder, or older relative) you “pronam” which means you touch their feet when you greet them. Abraham was meeting the Lord, so he did more than “pronam”, he threw his face into the dirt in reverence and respect. “O Lord, if I have found favor in your sight, do not pass by your servant.” He invited them in.

“Let a little water be brought, and wash your feet,” when looking at this verse we often think of Jesus washing the disciples' feet as an act of service. In Bangladeshi culture, you take your shoes off at the door not only to someone’s house, but to the church, the mosque, even a small shop or store. It is dusty here, DUSTY and muddy. You take off your shoes out of respect for the area you are walking into. But as we all wear flip-flops, our feet are often very dusty. Now we don’t wash each other’s feet but you do wash your feet as often as you can, I do almost every time I walk back into my house after being out.

Next Abraham says “while I bring a morsel of bread”. This makes me smile because read the rest of the section. Not only does he have Sarah make some bread he “ran to the herd and took a calf, tender and good, and gave it to a young man, who prepared it quickly. 8 Then he took curds and milk and the calf that he had prepared, and set it before them.” He put together an entire feast! If you visit someone’s house in Bangladesh, they will serve you tea. But not just tea, tea and fruit or biscuits or cake, sometimes all three. And if you are there near a meal time, you will be fed and fed well. It does not matter how rich or poor the family you are with, they will give you the best they have. Abraham killed a calf for his guests. They would not leave hungry. And what did Abraham do while they ate? “And he stood by them under the tree while they ate.” He watched them eat, at the ready to meet any needs they might have, he did not eat with them, because he wanted them to eat their fill and he would take what was left, not even once thinking about himself.

This confused and frustrated me so much in Bangladesh, until this morning when I realized how Biblical this culture is. When at someone's house the hostess will invite you in and then be busy getting your tea and making your food. You are usually left in the room alone (if only the hostess is there) while she prepares everything, maybe 5 or maybe 20 minutes. The visits here are not just a quick stopover. It takes time. Time that my Western self thought was being wasted, “why can’t they just hurry up?” or “I don’t even want tea!” until today when I saw how Biblical it really is. How everything they do here is out of respect and love for the guest at their home.

Bangladesh Tea Gardens

So why did I bring up Ishmael in the first part of this revelation? Because Bangladesh is a Muslim country. And Islam is not just a religion, it is an entire culture, that started that day God promised to bless not only Abraham’s line through Isaac, but to also bless the line of Ishmael. This is was how Ishmael was raised, and that culture has been carried on from generation to generation for thousands of years, to where here in Bangladesh being served a cup of tea, is not because you like tea, it is because you are being blessed by your hostess’s love for serving you.

So next time I am in the Director of the Passport and Visas office and twenty people come and go in the 2 hours I am there, and he serves each and everyone a cup of tea, I will not complain that “this is taking soooo long” but instead think of Abraham serving the Lord in the heat of the day and be blessed that my life is the collision of the two blessing the Lord poured out upon Abraham’s two sons.

Having 7 Layer Tea

 

This Lesson Hurts

Let’s be honest… I didn’t want to write this post. As I write I am still battling with myself on what to say. Usually I am so excited to write about what we are doing and the adventure the Lord is leading us on and the lessons He is teaching us.  But these last two months have been more lessons than adventures and lets just say I miss the adventures. It is easy to share an adventure with you, it is much harder to admit the lessons the Lord has had to teach me… again.

Patience. My lesson. I am so ready to be over this lesson of Patience… Ironic? When I lived in Africa after high school, one of my leaders told me “Don’t pray for patience. If you do, God will only test your patience until you learn to have patience.” I often catch myself saying “God, I didn’t pray for patience!” and thus my lesson continues.

Patience in ministry . There are so many exciting things to get done, but we have to wait for the Lord’s timing not ours. Example: We are so excited to start construction on the Recording Studio!... in July. Which is much sooner then we anticipated, so I should be praising not moaning.

Patience in marriage. This is a lesson that will never end, and I don’t want it to end. Loving my husband through all his faults is hard, but I can’t imagine loving me through all of mine. I am thankful for his not-always-patient patience with me as I am learning to be patient with him.

Patience in motherhood, wanting to be a mother. Wow, this is it. This is the reason I didn't want to write this post. Not only am I learning patience here, I am also having to be reminded that God’s timing and plan is perfect. And only His timing and plan is perfect, not mine. No matter how much I wish or pray or moan or cry. Still I will choose to trust in Him. The patience is there, in trusting Him.

So Lord,

Tonight I pray for patience.

Because I know that You will be with me through all the testing of my patience.

And I don't want to face my impatience without You.

I am ready for Your lessons.

Why Do Missionaries Cost So Much!

In high school, when a teenager is trying to figure out their life, who they are and what they want to be, I said I did not want to be a missionary. I wanted to teach internationally or work for an embassy because I new I wanted to live overseas, but I did NOT want to raise my money, I wanted to be paid.

How selfish and untrusting of me. By saying this I was not willing to let God control my life, I wanted to be in charge! But God has a funny way of changing our hearts and showing us the joys of relying on Him. I could have married a mid- west lawyer and live in suburbia with a white picket fence, maybe a horse or two. I could have studied International Relations and gone on to work for an Embassy. But I didn't. Because God said no.

God took my fear of raising money and showed me that He is bigger then fear and He is bigger then money and it all belongs to Him anyway, so why was I living in fear?

I wish it didn't cost so much for Alpha and I to be missionaries. I wish I did not have to ask people directly to support us. I wish my update letters and Facebook posts did not have to track our progress or ask for more supports. It is humbling, sometimes humiliating. But God does not want us to do it on our own. Ephesians 2:8-9 says "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."

It is a gift from God that we get raise support, so that those who cannot go can still be a partner with us in reaching others for Christ. It is a gift from God that we can rely on Him and not our own strength, because we would never be able to do it on our own.

If you are interested in reading an article that answers questions "why missionaries cost so much" or why we ask for so many supporters please read it here: http://reachingandteaching.org/2016/02/missionaries-cost-much.html

Preparing our Hearts

As Alpha and I are preparing to go back the Bangladesh, our organization sent us a link to "things missionaries would have liked to know before heading to the field". I wanted to share some of the list with you. I am by no means a veteran missionary. I have limited experience, but am passionate about sharing my small experience in order to help others avoid some mistakes I have made.

"I wish I had known how difficult missions really is." This one is so hard to explain, there are so many things that go into being in a different country, learning a new culture, language, transportation system, how the government works and how to go grocery shopping. It is hard to explain to people that have never been out of their country, but the daily things you do, that you don;t even think about in your home country, become daunting tasks that take all your energy and will power.

"I wish I had had more realistic expectations." It is not all "summer camp", things do not run smoothly, things go wrong, over and over and over again. Sharing Christ means having a relationship and relationships take time. Years, not days and not months, but years of work before you may see fruit, and in the end that "fruit" may only be a planted seed. 

"I wish I had known more about myself and being patient." I am not a person that likes to sit and do nothing, but in reality starting a mission is a lot of waiting.... and waiting.... and some more waiting.... Learning the language takes time and can be lonely, but it is not forever. You will learn and you will be able to make friends. Having a plan, but being flexible is so important. Being able to just do life while you are waiting is important. Make friends is important. But trusting the Lord and knowing that His timing is perfect is the most important.

"I wish I had known that we would be nearly forgotten by those who had been closest to us." When I read this one my heart hurt, because unfortunately it is true. Living overseas means you lose deep friendships with people back home. It means you have to make extra effort to reach out and keep relationships going. Having relationships with people back home is not all about raising money and being fully supported. It is about having people you know will be here for you even when they are thousands of miles away. That is the reason we need supports, not for the money but for the support, love, prayers and friendships. When a missionary invites you to visit their country, they really mean it. They want your friendship and they want to share with you the worlds they live in. If you get the chance to love on a missionary it means everything to them.

"I wish I’d known how amazing it was going to be!"
Missionaries give up their entire lives, friends and family to serve the Lord. It is not easy, it breaks hearts, wears people down, culture shock, home sickness and depression are realities, but through all of that the rewards of serving the Lord with your entire being are unimaginable and indescribable. Because if you can make it through the language and culture learning you will discover the abundance of people thirsting for Jesus and sharing His love brings a joy that you cannot compare.

Thank you for praying with Alpha and I as we are facing these struggles, but knowing that the reward will be worth more then anything we can imagine.

I did not write about all the questions so you can read the entire article here: http://www.askamissionary.com/question/31

Are You Ready? We Are Ready!

Here we go! Alpha and I are launching our new ministry! We have joined Global Grace Fellowship and are starting our journey back to Bangladesh. Below is our new website! Get excited! We are excited!  Click on the "News" tab to hear two of Alpha's new songs. Support information is under Donate and Alpha and I would be happy to come speak at your church or small group. Send me an email emillermk@gmail.com. 

Alpha Studio Bangladesh

The Waiting Place

There are so many emotions going on in m heart today. I was reading an article about the Rohingya refugee crisis in Bangladesh, saw a short clip on Facebook about the lack of value daughters have in India and about how a man walked into a Denver Walmart and killed three people only a couple blocks from my brother's house. With all the turmoil in the world it can be hard to find the joy and thank God for his blessings. But even in, especially in, the dark times God is there and His plan is perfect.

This is not the first time I have asked God "why are we here and not there?" But I can see God moving here in little Wescliffe. It may not be at the speed that Alpha or I want, but His timing is perfect and He still loves us in our doubts and questions.

When I was in middle and high school I would beg my parents to return to the missions field, I did not and still today struggle with feeling "American." It might be what my passport says, it is the accent I have, but it is hard to feel "at home" in a culture that is supposed to make sense but doesn't. I have learned over the last year that "home" for me is not a specific country, but where my family is and where God is using me. Back in those school days my mom once told me "Let God use you where you are, then He will send you where you want to go."

So we stay, waiting, but being used. How unfortunate would it be to stay in one place, whether you like it or not, but never shine the light of Christ? How can I expect God to send me to do His work, if I do not let Him use me here? I long to be back in Bangladesh doing what my heart's passion is, but I have also found joy in being used in Westcliffe. I love being a part of our church, as does Alpha. Alpha is an active part of our worship team and I am able to help in the nursery. I love being able to teach an art class once a week to about 15 kids in a home school co-op and I love seeing our interns at work be challenged and grow in their love for the Lord.

And though we do not know exactly why God has brought us here, we are excited to have found a church that is as passionate about sending us back to Bangladesh as we are to go. And so we take another step in the journey of honoring our Savior with our lives. Waiting, yes, but seeking the Lord as we look ahead to a life of ministry in Bangladesh. We are ready and the Lord is moving. I will be writing another post soon with more details about our plans to return to Bangladesh and the specific ministry the Lord has been building and leading us to start.

We appreciate your prayers, love and support. 

Alpha and Emily Samaddar

Settled, Serving and Learning

We are Settled!

We made it to the beautiful Sangre De Cristo mountain range in southern Colorado over a month ago. I cannot believe how fast time flies. We have turned this wild and majestic land into our home. We have settled into our apartment and the routine of Alpha attending classes and me going to work. Even Ember has decided country living is for him. Most of our furniture is still borrowed, but living in a camp setting with high turnover has some advantages and we have been blessed with a few of our larger pieces, like our (new to us) couch! It has been such a joy to make new friends and living in this Christ centered community. We have also been blessed to have my brother Nathan come visit twice and bring my Grammy up once.

Ember has made with friend in puppy LeLe

Ember is loving living in the mountains

Grammy and Nathan came to visit us!

We are Serving!

Starting camp in the summer is a lot of hard work, long days and exhausted bodies. The kitchen staff I have the privileged to manage and work with are some of the hardest working, most humble young adults I have ever met. The serve selflessly, sometimes over 12 hours a day and always with a smile. The ministry of working in a camp setting is most definitely a calling. I feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to work and learn from some pros and I know God is using this experience to shape me and Alpha for ministry in Bangladesh.  Alpha is volunteering at the seminary, cleaning the classroom and main lodge to help cover his tuition. He has been working so hard to maintain his studies and work.

On Wednesdays we have a Western night for our guests

We are Learning!

Alpha has amazed me with his ability to learn and understand his classes. It has been a challenge and lots of extra hours to get through the readings, looking up words with a translator, discussing ideas and theological ideas with classmates, memorizing verses and topics. Fewf! I am out of breathe thinking about it all! Alpha often feels like he is not learning anything in lectures because he has to focus on translating, but even with all of these challenges he has surpassed his fellow students on tests and exams! I have seen and heard Alpha talk about his classes with passion and I know he is learning far more then he realizes. Please pray that Alpha feels that he is learning and that he does not get overwhelmed with the language barrier.
I have also been learning. I just finished a SafeServ Manager course and will hopefully receive my test results and certification next week. I am learning what it means to be a manager (assistant) and how to help resolve conflict as well as what it means to serve selflessly. Its not always easy, let me tell you!

One of the Kitchen's dishwasher was down so we loaded up a van with our dirty dishes and had a washing party at one of the other kitchens.

Our beautiful mountains, the pointy one in Horn Peek where we live

As Alpha and I have been working hard to cover tuition, housing and moving expenses, the Seminary has asked that we pray about and try to raise our tuition for the three year program as the goal of the Seminary is to prepare its students for full time ministry. We will be starting to pray about and ask for long term supporters. We would love if you would join our team as we work through Seminary and begin to look toward the future of being back on the missions field in Bangladesh full time. Over the next three years we will need to raise around $9,000 in tuition alone with more info to come on monthly ministry support and start up costs for when we move back to Bangladesh.

If you are interested in becoming a monthly supporter or would like more information please feel free to email me emillermk@gmail.com and I will be happy to send you more information.

If you feel God leading you to help Alpha with his masters, and ultimately back to Bangladesh, and would like to make a tax-deductible donation on his behalf please see the information below. We would love to have you join us on this journey.

Please make checks payable to: Sangre De Cristo Seminary

Sangre De Cristo Seminary
6160 County Rd #130
Westcliffe, Colorado
81252

Please include a note saying: 'On behalf of the tuition for Alpha Samaddar'

If you would like to donate online through PayPal please follow the link below. Again, please include a note: 'On behalf of the tuition for Alpha Samaddar'

Online Donation

If you would like to check out the school's website:
Sangre De Cristo Seminary

Enjoying a rare moment of quiet together

We are Moving!

For those of you who have known me for many years, know that my life is hardly ever stationary. So we have come upon another such time. Alpha's dream of attending Seminary is coming true and we are moving to COLORADO!

I have been very blessed to work for World Relief Chicago these last few months as a Refugee Case Manager. It has been intense and rewarding. I have learned many things about myself, politics and some of the most needy and vulnerable around the world. Unfortunately Alpha has not been able to find work in Chicago, partially due to some health issues, but we are seeing more and more how this has been a part of God's plan all along.

When we were first moving to the United States, Alpha expressed his desire to attend Seminary to get his Masters so we could return to Bangladesh fully prepared to do ministry. We looked and applied to a number of schools, but none seemed to fit Alpha's needs. Until recently.

My little brother Jared and I worked at a Christian Camp and Conference Center a number of years ago in the mountains of Colorado. While I was there I stumbled upon a tiny Seminary called the Sangre De Cristo Seminary. One of our co-workers was attending there to get his Masters of Divinity, which is one of two degrees offered.

Sangre De Cristo Seminary came to my mind last year when Alpha and I were looking at schools, because they are small, only 12 students, they could offer one on one teaching that Alpha will need as he studies in a second language. But because they are so small they could not offer him a student visa (as we did not have his green card at the time). So we put it out of our minds. However, last month it came back up, and with Alpha's green card he was able to apply. By the grace of God, there was one full-time spot available and Alpha was accepted.


Now we are looking forward to moving to Westcliffe, Colorado so he can start classes on May 29th. We are stepping out in bold faith, as I do not have a job yet in Colorado. I have an interview this week, so your prayers will be appreciated. We know this is the way God is leading and He has never asked us to do something He wasn't prepared to cover.

The Seminary is non-profit so the tuition is only about $3,000 a semester. Because the Seminary's focus is to prepare pastors for full-time ministry they also allow their students to raise the tuition. Alpha and I would love to be able to jump from school straight onto the missions field back in Bangladesh. If you feel God leading you to help Alpha with his masters, and ultimately back to Bangladesh, and would like to make a tax-deductible donation on his behalf please see the information below. We would love to have you join us on this journey.

Please make checks payable to: Sangre De Cristo Seminary

Sangre De Cristo Seminary
6160 County Rd #130
Westcliffe, Colorado
81252

Please include a note saying: 'On behalf of the tuition for Alpha Samaddar'

If you would like to donate online through PayPal please follow the link below. Again, please include a note: 'On behalf of the tuition for Alpha Samaddar'

Online Donation

If you would like to check out the school's website:
Sangre De Cristo Seminary

New Year, New Job, New Country

I left you with a rather dramatic blog post back in July about our lock down in Bangladesh. Alpha and I have now been in the US for about 5 months now. But I am getting ahead of myself.

After the attack and being locked in the house for the month of July, Alpha's visa came through the 1st week of August. We packed up, said goodbye to family and flew to Chicago. We had about 24 hours to drop our stuff off with our friends and then fly to Colorado to join in on my family reunion. Nothing like throwing your husband in to meeting 50 family members at once for a week. It was a very special time for me as I had not seen most of my family in over 2 years and none of them had met Alpha yet.

After the reunion and time with my immediate family, Alpha and I headed back to Chicago where I started working at my church. At the end of September we were very blessed to be able to rent my parents house as they are living in Germany. I cannot express how exciting it was to have a place of our own and to get my dog, Ember, back!

Alpha and Ember

In October we got a call from a long time family friend asking if we would like to contract with World Relief Chicago for a month as they were having an exceptionally busy time. So on top of affordable housing God blessed Alpha and I with jobs. We worked in the Refugee Resettlement department help the most vulnerable get on their feet and start new lives in the US (Just like what we were doing ourselves).

Alpha's First Snow!

As the contract ended in November, I was asked to apply for a Case Manager position that was coming available. After a lot of prayer and discussions with Alpha, I applied.

Refugee Job Training

For Thanksgiving Alpha and I drove to Arkansas and Oklahoma to stay with our good friend the Waters family who we worked with at Grace in Bangladesh. We were also able to pick up my brother, Jared, and his roommate to celebrate Thanksgiving with friends and family. What another amazing blessing!

Celebrating Christmas in the States

When we got home I had a few interviews and was asked again to contract with World Relief for two more weeks before Christmas. Right before the holiday I was offered a full time position as the new Case Manager. Alpha and I are excited about this position. Alpha has also been blessed with a full time position at Meijer. Please be praying for him as he transitions to this job.

Over all we are doing well, though culture shock is hard. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we try to find our rhythm in this very different world.

Lockdown

I have been avoiding writing this post, mostly because I wanted to write out of a place of peace and not anger or fear. Though my anxiety and stress may still be through the roof, I feel more secure knowing the we are in the care and plan of our great Saviour Jesus Christ. 

If you watched the news in early July you would have seen Bangladesh make international headlines. A rarity for this small country and unfortunately it was not for a good reason. I will not go into detail, as this is not to focus of my post, but if you are unaware here is the short story.

A few blocks from my house a terrorist group took over 30 hostages at a local cafe. It became a stand off with police that, when ended, was so gruesome it is difficult to think about even now. Of the 30+ hostages 20 foreigners were killed by machetes. Why? To spread fear in the diplomatic community and the pure evil of terrorism. I will stop there with my opinions and comments about the tragedy itself, it's the after effects, the now, I want to talk about.

Bangladesh has always been an interesting and mostly welcoming country. Bideshies or foreigners are a novelty, our light skin draws stares constantly and the little children will try to "rub the white off." The foreign community is small, situated mostly in a diplomatic enclave of a couple square miles. It is guarded (though a very low standard compared to other countries) but supposedly the most secure area of Bangladesh. This is why the attack aimed directly at foreigners was so frightening.

After July 1st the diplomatic zone went into lock down. Companies and embassies started removing families and keeping only essential personnel. The school I work for has put a delay on opening, if it will open at all. The advice to all foreigners was to not go out, avoid shops and grocery stores. Do not walk. And leave the country if possible.

And so here we are. I had not been out of my apartment except with an armed escorts for 20 days. Let me make a recommendation to you, don't ever go to jail. I understand now why it is such a punishment.

Since the incident I have not been able to sleep for more then 3 hours at a time. I have always been able to sleep anytime anywhere and this new found insomnia, these extra hours of doing nothing were driving me a little crazy. So I took up yoga, and watching Netflix, listening to sermons, writing children's books, packing the apartment, and painting murals on my walls.

Alpha has still been able to go out, thankfully. And I am happy to report that I still love and like my husband even after being with him 24 hours a day with no break, except when he runs to the store for eggs. It has actually been a sweet time for us.

We have Alpha's visa interview on August 1st and so it has become a count down to when we will be able to move to the States. But a month is a long countdown when all you can do is cross the endless days off the calendar.

On the 21st of July we felt it was safe enough to travel to Khulna to see Alpha's family probably for the last time before we move. We will be here for a week and the freedom I felt getting on the 20 minute flight and 2 hour drive with the windows down was refreshing. The compound here is beautiful with gardens and a menagerie of animals. But reality hit hard again when Alpha said he was going to the store and I jumped up to tag along. He kindly reminded me that I still could not leave the walls of the compound. So prison the size of my apartment or the size of a compound is still prison. Though this one has a lot of nice people and family.

It is currently 430am and all I want is sleep... I have used my insomnia to look forward to the future, looking up numerous apartments and cars in Chicago, registering Alpha for classes. I have also enjoyed some quiet time with the Lord. And though sleep deprived, I have not completely gone insane.

If you think of us in the days leading up to Alpha's visa, please pray for sanity, safety and fellowship with those around us. Pray for Alpha as he will be saying goodbye to his family at the end of this week and for me, that I can still enjoy and love this country that I have come to call home. Pray also that his visa will not be delayed and that we will be able to make my family reunion in Colorado on the 12th of August.

And pray that I can sleep.

I will leave you with a few things that have brought me joy in the last weeks.

Here are two songs that have been soothing to my soul. Alpha and I break out into worship songs often and Anchor is one of our favorites.

Here is a movie recommendation. I watched "Brooklyn" and looking forward to moving to the States I found it to be a beautiful movie and I highly recommend it.

And of course some pictures.

The mural I painted in our living room

The view from our roof as I got some much needed fresh air