Lockdown

I have been avoiding writing this post, mostly because I wanted to write out of a place of peace and not anger or fear. Though my anxiety and stress may still be through the roof, I feel more secure knowing the we are in the care and plan of our great Saviour Jesus Christ. 

If you watched the news in early July you would have seen Bangladesh make international headlines. A rarity for this small country and unfortunately it was not for a good reason. I will not go into detail, as this is not to focus of my post, but if you are unaware here is the short story.

A few blocks from my house a terrorist group took over 30 hostages at a local cafe. It became a stand off with police that, when ended, was so gruesome it is difficult to think about even now. Of the 30+ hostages 20 foreigners were killed by machetes. Why? To spread fear in the diplomatic community and the pure evil of terrorism. I will stop there with my opinions and comments about the tragedy itself, it's the after effects, the now, I want to talk about.

Bangladesh has always been an interesting and mostly welcoming country. Bideshies or foreigners are a novelty, our light skin draws stares constantly and the little children will try to "rub the white off." The foreign community is small, situated mostly in a diplomatic enclave of a couple square miles. It is guarded (though a very low standard compared to other countries) but supposedly the most secure area of Bangladesh. This is why the attack aimed directly at foreigners was so frightening.

After July 1st the diplomatic zone went into lock down. Companies and embassies started removing families and keeping only essential personnel. The school I work for has put a delay on opening, if it will open at all. The advice to all foreigners was to not go out, avoid shops and grocery stores. Do not walk. And leave the country if possible.

And so here we are. I had not been out of my apartment except with an armed escorts for 20 days. Let me make a recommendation to you, don't ever go to jail. I understand now why it is such a punishment.

Since the incident I have not been able to sleep for more then 3 hours at a time. I have always been able to sleep anytime anywhere and this new found insomnia, these extra hours of doing nothing were driving me a little crazy. So I took up yoga, and watching Netflix, listening to sermons, writing children's books, packing the apartment, and painting murals on my walls.

Alpha has still been able to go out, thankfully. And I am happy to report that I still love and like my husband even after being with him 24 hours a day with no break, except when he runs to the store for eggs. It has actually been a sweet time for us.

We have Alpha's visa interview on August 1st and so it has become a count down to when we will be able to move to the States. But a month is a long countdown when all you can do is cross the endless days off the calendar.

On the 21st of July we felt it was safe enough to travel to Khulna to see Alpha's family probably for the last time before we move. We will be here for a week and the freedom I felt getting on the 20 minute flight and 2 hour drive with the windows down was refreshing. The compound here is beautiful with gardens and a menagerie of animals. But reality hit hard again when Alpha said he was going to the store and I jumped up to tag along. He kindly reminded me that I still could not leave the walls of the compound. So prison the size of my apartment or the size of a compound is still prison. Though this one has a lot of nice people and family.

It is currently 430am and all I want is sleep... I have used my insomnia to look forward to the future, looking up numerous apartments and cars in Chicago, registering Alpha for classes. I have also enjoyed some quiet time with the Lord. And though sleep deprived, I have not completely gone insane.

If you think of us in the days leading up to Alpha's visa, please pray for sanity, safety and fellowship with those around us. Pray for Alpha as he will be saying goodbye to his family at the end of this week and for me, that I can still enjoy and love this country that I have come to call home. Pray also that his visa will not be delayed and that we will be able to make my family reunion in Colorado on the 12th of August.

And pray that I can sleep.

I will leave you with a few things that have brought me joy in the last weeks.

Here are two songs that have been soothing to my soul. Alpha and I break out into worship songs often and Anchor is one of our favorites.

Here is a movie recommendation. I watched "Brooklyn" and looking forward to moving to the States I found it to be a beautiful movie and I highly recommend it.

And of course some pictures.

The mural I painted in our living room

The view from our roof as I got some much needed fresh air