Give a Man a Fish (Random Stories From the Last Few Months)

Give a man a fish, feeds him for a day.

Teach a man to fish, feeds him for a lifetime. 

-Anne Isabella Ritchie

The above quote has been running through my head recently. I often want to take things over, do them myself, save others the pain or work. But this is not helpful for them. And as I am living in this vastly different culture from my own, it is not helpful for people to do this for me either. 

One thing I love about Bangladesh is that I am always learning new things. Whether it is cooking, language learning, cultural events or attending weddings. I have learned to take off my western tinted glasses to see this world around me. Some things I love and somethings I disagree with. I have spent a lot of time discussing with my friends here what is biblical and what is cultural. I am happy to conform to cultural rules as long as they do not interfere with my Biblical worldview. This has been an interesting challenge and lesson we have presented to our youth group kids. My new favorite question to ask them, when I see something cultural that may not be biblical, is to ask "Why do you do that?" and then "What does the Bible say about that?"

It would be very easy to just correct my kids, to "give them a fish" but I want them to become Fishers of Men (Matthew 4:19), so we continue to teach them to fish, to fish for answers and question the world with Jesus tinted glasses. 

My youth group girls dressed in traditional Giholude Sarees

I recently attended a wedding. At the prewedding ceremony, called a Giholude, tumeric is spread on the bride and groom's skin as a blessing and gives their skin a nice glow on their wedding day. (It turns my very pale skin bright yellow). This particular Christian wedding was an arranged marriage. Something I still cannot quite wrap my mind around, but am learning how normal it is here. I talked with my kids and all of them said they would not mind an arranged marriage. Of course, they are all welcome to have a love marriage, but most expect to have an arranged marriages. 

As you can expect this has led to many interesting conversations. And since arranged marriages are very present in the Bible, Alpha and I do not dissuade or discourage this. What we do encourage and teach our kids is to love and honor their spouse, however and whenever they get married. Alpha and I try our best to show appropriate affection to each other in public as an example of what a Biblical, loving marriage looks like. 

Shredding Coconut by had for Bangla curry

I am also learning to 'fish'.... I have written in previous blogs how hard I find it to cook here. But in the last few months I have become more proficient with the help of my mother-in-law. We make everything from scratch here. And though I do not enjoy spending hours in the kitchen, I do feel accomplished when I can put a meal on the table for my family.

Making baskets in art class

Swimming in the pond

As we are teaching our youth group to "fish", I have also been blessed with the opportunity to teach English at a local school to 20 precious, rambunctious little boys. And what started out as English has turned into teaching Art, Swimming and occasionally Science. Needless to say my Bangla is improving very quickly when trying to maintain control in a classroom of 20 boys under the age of 10. 

I had been dying for a swim all summer as it had been consistency over 100 degrees here. So when asked if I wanted to teach swimming I readily agreed. I don't always think before I agree to things... In this case our swimming lessons would be held in the local fishing pond. And yes the water was just as murky, green and smelly as you can see in the picture above. Absolutely no problem for my boys. They swim here a few times a week. I had grand plans for teaching them the breaststroke and diving techniques. But after being handed a fourth dead fish, I was really over it. So I retired to the shore as lifeguard more then teacher. And these boys didn't need a swimming lesson, they are practically fish themselves. Probably wont do that again anytime soon, though I get asked about swimming every week. Sorry Bangladesh, my western side won this round. 

Our new logo 

Our youth group in the new t-shirts

On the other side of ministry Alpha and I had the opportunity to cast our net at a youth event with over 400 students. We attended this event with our youth group and were able to have a table to promote our ministry. We gave out t-shirts and played our new worship music. The positive response we got was overwhelming. The youth at the event were so excited for new worship music. We feel very blessed to have had this opportunity and our youth group really stepped up to help us promote this amazing music ministry. 

Our table at the youth conference

I hope you enjoyed a these random stories from the last few months. Life here is never dull and God is teaching me as much as He is using me to teach other. 

I Have Fallen in Love

Sorov's beautiful smile

We have now been back in Bangladesh for 10 months. There have been many ups and downs, joys and sadness, but above all the Lord has been faithful.

When we were packing up our suitcases, I had grand ideas and plans for what we were going to do here. I could not wait to get back to Bangladesh. I thought I knew what to expect and that life would be dandy. I mean, I had lived in Dhaka for 2 years, how different could Khulna really be?

My sweet Protisha

The thing about Dhaka, well the part of Dhaka that used to I live in, is that it is a little oasis from the reality of the rest of Bangladesh. I lived in the Diplomatic Zone, where you had a western grocery store, coffee shops, even Pizza Hut, KFC and A&W. There is a clothing store that carries my size and foreigners get a 10% discount! All of these things I took for granted because I thought it was normal. Khulna, on the other hand, was where I would go on vacation to see my in-laws. Alpha and I always had a wonderful few days, or even a couple weeks being away from the hustle and bustle of overcrowded Dhaka. What I didn't realize was how different Khulna was, or should I say how unrealistic the Diplomatic Zone set my expectations.

Sorov talks to me a mile a minute!

In Khulna, though it is a city, they have no coffee. I mean real coffee, not Nescafe instant coffee (that is everywhere). Our little western style grocery store is a blessing and I would not know how to survive without it, but they do not carry boneless meat or chicken, cold dairy products like cheese and it is always a surprise what you will find on the shelves, and how much you will have to pay for things.

But with the reality that Khulna is not Dhaka settling in, I had to get creative and step outside my comfort zone. I learned how to make cheese and pasta at home. I got past my anxiety of going to the market to pick out a live chicken, watch it be killed and then take it home and figure out how to de-bone it so I could make some American food. Practical skills that I was not taught in school. I planted a garden so I could make a salad, which if you ask my mom is a big deal because I hated working in the garden growing up. And all this while being immersed in language learning.

Anik and Shuvo (he is at boarding school in Dhaka)

My husband gets asked often if I speak Bangla. His typical response has been "She speaks a little (alpo)." Until recently I have been upgraded to "She speaks more or less well (mota-moti)" or he will even say "Why don't you ask her?" Shock and Aww! My husband sees me improving!

Alpha, Oli, Samir, Anik, Joy

I have to credit this improvement to "my kids". The kids, teens and young adults that live on our compound, attend youth group and play board games with me. They don't speak English and at first, we had a lot of awkward silences, confusion, and miscommunication. But they leaned into that discomfort, pushing me to try harder and that's when it happened. That is when I started to fall in love with Khulna. More specifically with each of the kids that didn't care if my grammar was terrible or if I didn't know what on earth they were saying. But they still wanted to be my friend. They wanted to spend time with me. I get greeted with hugs when they get home from school and I get yelled at as I walk down the street past their homes "Boudi! Boudi!" (My title here).

Madohri, Sorov, Protisha, and Synthia

Alpha and I came here to do music ministry, to run a recording studio, but God had different, bigger plans. Yes, we are still doing the Studio, we are still working with youth to write worship music, but we have also become youth leaders/pastors. We have been gifted with young lives that have become so precious to us, to me. I could not imagine how my life would be without them here. During Christmas break, when all the kids were home, was the sweetest time I have had in Bangladesh. I mourned when they had to go back to school, some to boarding school far away, and I have had to readjust my expectations of not seeing them every day and having game nights every night. I now savor the small moments I get with them. Whether it is watching Sorov fly his kite and play with Ember (my dog), sitting with Madohri and Protisha in the sunshine, texting with Joy and Gilbert.

I have absolutely fallen in love with each of them. These special, precious lives that God created. The early days here I spent a lot of time and energy trying to find other foreigners here, hiding in my house or planning trips to visit my friends in Dhaka. But now, my joy comes when I am with my kids. We still struggle to communicate, but they are helping me, not letting me get away with my terrible grammar. And as they teach me Bangla, I teach them a few English words, and between the group of us, we can understand each other. I would not trade this time, even when it is hard, for anything in the world!

Proma, Brishti and Srishti

The boys after a Pre-Christmas race

Shuvo, Joy, Anik, Oli, and Samir

After our Pre-Christmas Program

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