There are so many emotions going on in m heart today. I was reading an article about the Rohingya refugee crisis in Bangladesh, saw a short clip on Facebook about the lack of value daughters have in India and about how a man walked into a Denver Walmart and killed three people only a couple blocks from my brother's house. With all the turmoil in the world it can be hard to find the joy and thank God for his blessings. But even in, especially in, the dark times God is there and His plan is perfect.
This is not the first time I have asked God "why are we here and not there?" But I can see God moving here in little Wescliffe. It may not be at the speed that Alpha or I want, but His timing is perfect and He still loves us in our doubts and questions.
When I was in middle and high school I would beg my parents to return to the missions field, I did not and still today struggle with feeling "American." It might be what my passport says, it is the accent I have, but it is hard to feel "at home" in a culture that is supposed to make sense but doesn't. I have learned over the last year that "home" for me is not a specific country, but where my family is and where God is using me. Back in those school days my mom once told me "Let God use you where you are, then He will send you where you want to go."
So we stay, waiting, but being used. How unfortunate would it be to stay in one place, whether you like it or not, but never shine the light of Christ? How can I expect God to send me to do His work, if I do not let Him use me here? I long to be back in Bangladesh doing what my heart's passion is, but I have also found joy in being used in Westcliffe. I love being a part of our church, as does Alpha. Alpha is an active part of our worship team and I am able to help in the nursery. I love being able to teach an art class once a week to about 15 kids in a home school co-op and I love seeing our interns at work be challenged and grow in their love for the Lord.
And though we do not know exactly why God has brought us here, we are excited to have found a church that is as passionate about sending us back to Bangladesh as we are to go. And so we take another step in the journey of honoring our Savior with our lives. Waiting, yes, but seeking the Lord as we look ahead to a life of ministry in Bangladesh. We are ready and the Lord is moving. I will be writing another post soon with more details about our plans to return to Bangladesh and the specific ministry the Lord has been building and leading us to start.
We appreciate your prayers, love and support.
Alpha and Emily Samaddar
